


Terror Heroes

by lowflyingfruit



Category: Batman (Comics), Batman - All Media Types
Genre: Batgirl cameos, Gen, POV First Person, POV Outsider
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-28
Updated: 2017-08-28
Packaged: 2018-12-20 20:56:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,020
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11929113
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lowflyingfruit/pseuds/lowflyingfruit
Summary: An unfortunate low-level criminal tells the unfortunate tale of how he and his friends temporarily kidnapped an unfortunate Robin, over drinks.It didn't end well.





	Terror Heroes

Ah, that's better. I needed that drink. Like I said, you wouldn't believe the day I've had. Bunch of other people had it worse, 'course, given the Joker busting out of Arkham...but anyway. Even if we got nobody to blame for this shit but ourselves.

It's just the five of us. We ain't got any big plans. Couple of jobs for the Penguin, that's the most we do. Just keeping our heads above water, that's all. Me, Stevie, Mike, Jake, Lenny. Only a few months ago we started taking Stevie Junior out with us. Useless mouths, you know, and Junior's always had a decent head on his shoulders and a way about him. He's the sort with bigger plans.

Tonight started out normal enough. We were just doing some loading and unloading. No idea what. We don't look in the boxes. That sort of thing could get us in trouble with the bosses. Just picking stuff up and putting it in the van. That's all. We were doing that, right, and then Mike looks up and screams.

And this kid says, from the rooftop, "Pathetic."

We all knew who it was. It's Robin. I dunno how long you've been in Gotham, pal, but the thing about Robin is that it's hard to take him seriously, especially if you've got boys of your own. Hard to shake the feeling that they just need a good swat on the backside. But once you do learn better, and everyone's learned better, Robin's scary in his own way. This one carries a  _sword_. We could see it shining.

He hopped down and pointed that sword at us. You know how you can just tell some things are sharp? Yeah. That was this sword. "Desist," he said.

Lenny panicked. All these years in Gotham and he's the only one who's ever really dealt with any of the Bats until now. By 'dealt with' I mean fought. So he panicked, and started flailing, and then Stevie jumped in, and Junior after him. Then it's all in, because that's the only way to deal with Bats, right? When it comes right down to it, Robin's still just a kid.

Then things go unbelievably wrong. Robin's fighting back, but he has to be careful with that sword, so he doesn't kill us all in ten seconds or so. But then - god, it was just fucking luck - a bit of guttering above him breaks and dumps a load of snow all over him. Next thing I know, Lenny's slammed the kid's head into a wall and the kid's staggering around. He wasn't out or anything, just got his bell rung good, and the next hit, from Jake, it was already on its way when the snow came down, makes this awful _crack_. Legs aren't supposed to bend like that.

By this point Robin's staggering, but he's a tough little bastard and he's still on his feet, barely. So Junior, I told you that he's got ideas, knocks him down and starts tying him up.

"What do you think you're doing?" Stevie asks him.

"This is our way to the big leagues," Junior says. "Think about it. No more packing boxes out here."

It was stupid.  _God_ it was stupid. But at the time...shit, man, you just came in, it's cold out there. Mike's back won't last from all the lifting, and it's not like any of us can afford insurance. None of us were thinking straight, either. We'd done it. We'd beaten a  _Bat_. The smallest, yeah, but he's still a  _Bat_.

Sure, I'll take another drink. Kind of you to offer.

Junior packs him into the back of the van and tells Mike and me to watch him. We take a _mountain_ of gear off him, communicator gizmo, gloves, the lot. Left the mask, though. Rumour is that if you touch those things wrong they explode. Not sure how true that is but we didn't want to risk it. Stevie drove. He always does. We only know one safe place to go, the warehouse over on McKennick Drive, so that's where we started heading.

We got two streets away before we run into the next Bat. Red Robin.

This one's standing in the middle of the road. He doesn't look all that scary. More skinny. Even Robin's got more muscle on him. Then you think, 'hang on, this skinny kid's standing in the middle of the road like he owns it.' Not to mention he was  _waiting_ for us.

Stevie brakes, but starts revving up the engine like he's going to run Red Robin over. Red Robin doesn't buy it. No, he just walks over to the driver's window. Stevie, dumb shit, we all know where Junior got his brains from now, rolled it down.

"You've got something I want," Red Robin says, cool as you please. "Technically." In the back with us, Robin starts going ballistic.

Stevie says, "What are you talking about?" because there's no fucking way Red Robin could know that we had Robin in the back of the van, right? But Red Robin, he just raises his eyebrows over his mask thing and says, "Just give Robin back. Trust me, he's not worth the aggravation."

Robin's thrashing around. Could have sworn he was more angry than trying to get away. It was a nightmare trying to hold on to him, 'cause he kept jarring that broken leg. He was trying to act tough about it but you could tell he was in pain.

"We don't have any Robin," Junior says.

Red Robin opens his mouth to say something, but that's where dumb luck event number two strikes for the night. An armoured clown car full of screaming retirees in Joker makeup comes bursting through a wall just ahead of us. Yeah. No kidding. We hadn't even known the Joker was out of Arkham. Red Robin looked at us, looked at the hole in the wall - we can all still hear the screaming - and then took off after the clown car.

We breathed a few sighs of relief after that, let me tell you. We took on Robin and won, through sheer luck. None of us really thought we could beat one of the grown-up Bats in a fight. Instead we keep driving. In for a penny and so forth.

By now the Joker's crazy plan was in full swing. There were road closures all over the damn place. We're going well out of our way and we know it's going to take half an hour longer to get back to our hideout than it should.

There are shadows over us, and Lenny says, "It's Batgirl." 'member how I said he was the only one of us who'd dealt with any Bats? Yeah. Batgirl knocked out two of his teeth a few years back. He says there are two of them, the one with the full-face mask and the blonde one. I don't know, it's hard to keep track. And they keep going back and forth over our heads. They're  _stalking_ us. Keeping tabs until the thing with the Joker eased up. And whenever we pass a security camera, we can see it follow us.

You ever been stalked by an entire goddamn city? You see why I need that drink, even before the rest of it. Oh no, thank  _you_.

We get to our warehouse. We drag Robin out of the van. Junior says, "Now we need to work out the ransom."

This synthesised voice says, "You don't need to think  _that_ far ahead."

Third Bat. Red Hood. The one that  _kills people_. Big guy, guns out already, full helmet so you can't see what he's thinking. More outright intimidating than either of the Robins we'd met that night.

Straight away, Junior gets out his gun and puts it to Robin's head. "Take one more step and I kill him," Junior says. He probably meant it. He's got a way about him, but he's not a good kid.

"No need for that either," Red Hood said. "Just give me the kid, or -"

"Or what?" Junior asked. Shithead kid, too high on getting away from the Bats to think.

"Or I will do the worst thing I can think of." Slowly, his hand headed towards his coat pocket. Jake's got his hand on his gun now too. Me as well. Didn't like our chances in a shootout either, but I couldn't let my friends get shot now could I? But instead of a weapon, Red Hood pulled out a small bag of popcorn.

Yes, popcorn. Would I make that up? After the clown car and the  _beating Robin_ thing, why would I make up anything about popcorn?

Anyway, so. He got out the popcorn, and said, "If you don't give Robin back right now, I will go sit on that rooftop -" he pointed at it, good vantage point "- and I will sit back and eat this popcorn while Nightwing deals with you."

"Nightwing?" Jake sneered. He was getting sucked in too. "That pretty boy? What's _he_ going to do?"

Red Hood shrugged. "Suit yourselves. I'm not going to be paying for your medical expenses. See you round, boys."

Sure enough, he did that thing with the hooks that all the Bats seem to like so much and headed for the rooftop. He waved and shook his bag of popcorn. "Just waiting for the fun to start!" he shouted down. Junior took a potshot at him, but he ducked behind a substation.

There wasn't much left for us to do but drag the kid inside and try to plan. If Junior and Jake were getting sucked in, and Stevie was going along with his kid, me and Mike and Lenny weren't sure about this. We'd seen almost all the Bats. They knew. They knew we had Robin and they knew where we were. There was no way this was going to end well for us.

The kid said, "Hood is asinine, but about this much he is correct: I  _will_ be rescued."

He sounded hurt, which, you know, with the broken leg. Angry, too, as if being rescued was insulting. But he didn't sound scared. That was scary itself. He stayed where we put him, didn't struggle with the ties, and waited calmly. It's hard to describe how goddamn  _creepy_ it was. He didn't budge or change expression, not even when Junior decided on the ransom amount.

After that we waited. That always sucks. Nothing on earth can make waiting anything but boring and tense at the same time. We were used to the warehouse being safe, though, and now we were all jumping at shadows, and the sirens outside...god, they just kept going. It was awful. Eventually it got the better of me and I had to hit the can.

It was on the way back when the yelling started. And the thumping. And the cracking sounds. I thought the sirens were bad. Mike  _shrieked_. At first I headed towards the sounds of the fight, but when I opened the door, I saw. It was Nightwing, yeah, but not like I'd ever heard of before. He's supposed to be the nice one of the Bats. Cheerful, even. Instead he was laying into my buddies. I caught the look on his face, just for a second...pure rage, man. Pure rage. Not the sort of out-of-control rage either, but the sort that only  _helps_ someone beat the crap out of someone else. Nearly pissed myself, and after I'd just emptied my bladder at that.

I'm not proud of it, but I hid. I wasn't tangling with that. I just listened as Nightwing picked the kid up and got out of there. The only thing he said the whole time was "Are you all right, Robin?" I hid until I knew he was gone, and then I ran for it.

They're going to pick me up sooner or later, the Bats. Not fooling myself. Only wanted a few drinks before they catch up. Thanks for obliging - Matches, was it? Right. I'll see you around.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading, and any comments, kudos, and bookmarks!


End file.
